Zompoc: How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse![by Michael Thomas and Nick Thomas]()
by Michael G. Thomas and Nick S. Thomas
Believe it or not, there are several how-to books out there about dealing with zombies. This one is the most helpful. Trust us. If a Zombie Apocalypse (Zompoc) does arrive, this is the book you’ll want in your arsenal. It isn’t the funniest zombie survival book out there, but it is the most thorough. Not only will you learn the different types of zombies, but you’ll learn how to fight them, and even how to deal once you win the fight against the zombies – because surely, after reading this book, you will win.
How to Be Pope: What to Do and Where to Go Once You’re in the Vatican
by Piers Merchant
The author of this little gem is a travel writer who has written for Fodor’s among other notable organizations. This book, which is hard to find, is designed to help you navigate the waters of the Catholic hierarchy as the newly appointed Pope. While few of us (let’s be honest, probably none of us) will never BE Pope, this is a really fun read and it isn’t offensive or critical of the church at all. It gives lots of information about what a Pope actually does, what it’s like to live in the Vatican, and how to do things a Pope does, like that neat little wave. If only it gave instructions on how to build your very only bubble car, because even if we can’t be Pope, we’d still like to have a bubble car. Wouldn’t we?
How to Have a New Kid by Friday: How to Change Your Child’s Attitude, Behavior & Character in 5 Days
by Dr. Kevin Leman
OK, so this is actually a legitimate how-to book on something you really know how to do. Not that we’re completely denouccing the possibility of a Zombie Apocalypse, but having a rotten, out-of-control child is a lot more likely. Look around your family and say that isn’t so. It’s just the title that is amusing. How to Have a New Kid – it smacks of trading kids with the neighbors, buying them off the black market, or posting an ad on Craigslist. The reality about this book is that people rave about it. They’ve employed Leman’s techniques and it has made a huge difference in their child’s behavior. So, just so this list has a little bit of helpfulness to you (though that zombie thing MAY come in handy some day) in spite of it’s frothy exterior.
How to Defeat Your Own Clone: And Other Tips for Surviving the Biotech Revolution
by Kyle Kurpinski and Terry D. Johnson
In the same vein of the zombie book, this tome prepares you in the face of a not-so-definite but oddly-frightening possible future. Who is to say that zombies, evil clones, or gone-wrong biological experiments won’t be the end of the world as we know it. Lucky for you, some real-life bioengineers offer some very handy and helpful tips on how to deal if, for instance, you get attacked by a clone of yourself. Between the quips, pop culture references, and jokes, Kurpinski and Johnson have written a scientific book that contains a lot of useful information.
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The Werewolf’s Guide to Life: A Manual for the Newly Bitten
by Rich Duncan and Bob Powers
Adding to the list of “it probably won’t happen, but just in case it does we’re awfully glad someone wrote a book about it” how to books, we’re glad Rich Duncan and Bob Powers wrote this book on how to be the best werewolf you can be. The fact that there would be a market for this is no big surprise, since TwilightMania has swept the countryside and everyone has decided to be either Team Edward or Team Jacob. No doubt there are plenty of vampire survival manuals as well, but this werewolf book is so very amusing that it was the one to make the list. So, if you just want a fun read, you can pick this book up. If you’ve been bitten by a werewolf recently, you really should pick it up right away.
How to Start Your Own Country
by Erwin S. Strauss
Now here’s a helpful one. Fed up with the country you live in? Looking for a change? Want to go to great, almost impossible lengths to establish your own country? Then this book is for you. It shows you five different strategies for creating a new country, gives you the information you need to make it happen, and even shares some case studies wherein people have started their own country and been successful. The first edition of this scholarly work was published in 1979, with a new edition released in 1999, so the “new” technology and political strategies that Strauss refers to are not exactly current, but the ideas are still sound and although he does show a bit of a sense of humor, the book is mostly serious. So, future kings, presidents, and dictators, buy yourself a copy and get started.
How to Fossilize Your Hamster: And Other Amazing Experiments for the Armchair Scientist
by Mick O’Hare
Perhaps the most important thing to note here is that the hamster experiment is designed to take place AFTER your hamster dies a natural death. The author does not (and neither do we) suggest you try to fossilize the poor little thing while it is still alive. Now that your mind is at ease, you can enjoy this delightful book with a clear conscience. O’Hare takes you through some truly fascinating at-home science experiments that are (mostly) safe and utilize regular household items like soap and vinegar. So, the how-to book might not be as weird as it seems from the title, but it is a good read indeed.
